Even if Ichigo X Rukia is Cliché
by moonlit reveries
Summary: a collection of IchigoXRukia oneshots. Oneshot challenge from a friend. Some stories of new plots. Some are old themes with a twist. Fanfictions, Twister, Bicycles, Love songs, kisses, Rain, boyfriends, the last waltz, the future and Happy endings!
1. Fanfictione are Cliché

"_a/n: Hey guys Chappy-the-Rabbit-chan here. This is the third chapter of my fanfiction entitled __**Promises are made to be broken**__. It took me awhile to finish this. My roommate was being irritating again. Anyway, I thank you so much for the reviews you have given me. I am truly humbled. I didn't expect that many people will actually like my fanfiction. And Moonlight-reveries…I updated! I hope that I made you really happy. I apologize for any misspellings and grammar lapses. I'm not very good speaking English and my roommate was being irritating. Anyway, without further ado, I give you chapter three._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Raven or any of its characters. Don't sue me!_

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Chapter Three: **__**Practicing Goodbye**_

_And they said all in love was fair._

Haruhi Nakamura always dreaded the day that Ninjin had to leave her. Not that she had developed feelings for him but she had a special place for him in her heart. No, she didn't even have a crush on him. And frankly speaking, Ninjin was worse than a pain on the butt, nagging her in every possible way; usually asking something about how a particular contraption worked. But those were the things she had grown to be accustomed with. And she already felt how much she longed for those moments during the short absence of Ninjin. She would not be able to bare his absence for a life time.

But he was a Charon, Hades' boatman to the after life. He was bounded by duty. He could not stay just for the sake of some Charon-substitute. If there was only a way to beg some more divine being to let him stay with her permanently. Or even just at least give him the courage to say goodbye to her. Just this once because never in her lifetime has she heard Ninjin utter those words to her. Damn. She was being cheesy again. And she did not have feelings for a carrot head like him.

What could she do? She was, after all, just a young teenage girl. She had grown fond of his company and to some point she needed his company. Maybe she was in love with him, after all. Why wouldn't she? She had every reason to be in love with him. He has been sleeping in her room for almost a year. They walked to school together. They go out together. They had uncountable mushy stuff together. It would be rational to fall in love with him.

And now, she felt a sudden throb in her chest when she heard that he was leaving again and that it was uncertain when he'll get back. If only she could cheat fate and make him stay with her forever. But that would be like asking love to give them an upper hand and that would be unfair because they would have an advantage. It could never happen because like what they say, '_all in love was_— What in the world? Rukia, what the heck was that for?!"

"That was for reading my stuff!" the raven haired shinigami jabbed the young boy in his face. "I did not give you permission to read my fan fictions! I want you out of your room Kurosaki! Did you hear me? Out!"

Ichigo Kurosaki frowned while tending his sore abdomen. Who would have thought that Rukia could write mushy crap like that?

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The Real Author's Note**_

_This is moon-chan back with another collection of oneshots. This will be composed of ten stories range from 500 to 1000 words and the genre will be from humor, romance to angst. I will be posting a story per day for the next ten days! If I do that my friend will treat me Mcdonald's. Yahoo! So, how was the first one? Please review! _

_I apologize of the typographical errors and misspellings.I hope I have time to write the epilogue of my other fic… Can anybody give suggestions for a good epilogue of **A Hollow Named Ichigo**?_

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach! However, I own the plot of this story… _

_**Bleach: **__**Fanfictions are Cliché**_

_That was the title of the fic._

_Love lots,  
__Moon-chan_

_P.S. Ninjin means carrot. The idea popped of my head like a bolt out of the blue.Was it funny? Haruhi I think it sound like a boy's name-in contrast with ichigo sounding like a girl's name. Raven…I bet you know why it's raven. _


	2. Twister is Cliché

_a/n: __**This plot may or may not be original.**__ The title of this collection is 'Ichigo X Rukia is Cliché'. I'm sorry for you that you wanted an original plot. Please remember that any similarity with the other fics is purely coincidental. These stories came from Moon-chan's little cage of plot hamsters. Please do not sue me or report me to this site. Thank you very much for reading this. (I don't want to be banned I love the people here in this site!)_

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach or the game Twister. They belong to their respective owners._

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Bleach: **__**Twister is Cliché**_

_Some call it the naughtiest game ever created, while others call it 'Twister'._

It was a game of simple mechanics. It was a game that needed a multi-coloured circle designed mat and a colour chooser wheel. It was a game where nobody would lose. It was a game that really makes time fly. It was a game indeed everyone should try. It is a game that involved intimate interaction between to people. It was a game Ichigo Kurosaki dare not try…especially with Rukia Kuchiki.

However, Ichigo Kurosaki did not have a choice. Actually, he had but he would be willing to do just anything to just stop Rukia nagging (and it included playing twister). Damn. Rukia just had to bring home that crazy game. No matter. He could handle it. He had nothing to worry about. He was Ichigo Kurosaki. No, that fact that he was Ichigo was something to worry about. It was just a game. How hard could it be?

Finally after many exchanges of words and threats, it began. Ichigo was the first one.

_Left foot on blue._

It was Rukia's turn.

_Right hand on red._

Ichigo was next.

_Right hand on yellow._

Then, it was Rukia's.

_Right foot on red._

So far so good.

Or so Ichigo thought until the twentieth round.

By this time, Rukia was sitting on her butt with her left hand on the second green circle from one end and on the first blue circle from the same end. Her left foot was on the fifth blue circle. And her right was on the second to the last red circle. As for Ichigo, his two feet were adjacent to Rukia's while his right arm was on the third yellow circle. Basically, his face would be directly in front of Rukia, if his other hand wasn't touching the fourth green circle.

Now, it was Ichigo's turn.

Technically, Ichigo would just quit if he reached an awkward position like this. A fateful spin will lead to unavoidable circumstances. But, he can't do that. Rukia will beat the crap out of him if he concedes. Or Rukia would tease him all week that he was a loser. Furthermore, there wouldn't be a story to write if Ichigo quits. It is decided then, that Ichigo will spin the wheel and because we want action, the spinner will stop at a red circle; the one in the far corner. And yes, of all the circles, it had it be that one.

Ichigo lifts his left hands careful and placed it on the red circle farthest on the corner. He gulped realizing that his face was only a few inches away from Rukia's face. He gulped again. Byakuya would kill him if he saw them like this. His palm felt sweaty. The words 'it is just a game' and 'I can do this' echoed in his head like a broken record. It was no use. His heart began to beat faster. May kami-sama have mercy on his wretched soul? It was Rukia's turn.

Rukia's tiny legs tried to began to move as she tried to use her hand on the blue circle. The young Kurosaki felt a tickle in his abdomen. Damn. This was the closest he had ever been to Rukia. He gulped again. He had to get out of this. Otherwise, she could never think of Rukia the same way again. He could really use Kon right now. He needed to get out of this situation…and fast.

"Rukia," A shaky voice escaped from Ichigo. "I concede."

"And ruin the excitement? Besides—"

Because of some twist of fate or maybe the prayers of Ichigo X Rukia fans, her sweaty palms began to slip. Her back fell on the mat. It was only then that Ichigo realized that she partly support his weight. Ichigo followed her fall. Thankfully for him, he caught himself midway, just as he was about directly hit Rukia's face. However, his catching himself did not entire save him because his face landed less than a millimetre from hers. He uttered some words of apology then he stopped. He felt his lips partly brushed against hers. A red tint appeared over the both of their cheeks.

Rukia wanted to speak her mind. Good thing she had the presence of mind not to do so. Otherwise, the situation would be more awkward than it already was. She just hoped that Ichigo would snap out. Great. She was already thinking that Ichigo was indeed cute and damn, she admitted it too.

After two minutes, the Kurosaki came back to reality. He carried himself back to his bed and reminded himself never to play that game again.

"_Kami_" he said. "I will never play that came for the rest of my miserable life."

"You can say that again, Ichigo." Rukia said.

"_Kami_" he repeated. "I will never play that came for the rest of my miserable life."

They did not have another round of Twister that night. They didn't even talk to each other again that night. However, they played the game the following night, the night after that, the night after the night after that…and so on.

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a/n: FIN. For me, the story was really dragging. What do you think?_

_Love lots,  
__Moon-chan_

_P.S. I never played Twister in my entire life. _


	3. Bicycles are Cliché

_a/n: Bicycles are truly cliché. I read so many bicycle stories. And this Moon-chan's version. I haven't read anything like this yet. I hope this is original. Hahaha. Misspellings may exist. Slight IshidaXInoue._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach!_

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**__**Bleach: **__**Bicycles are Cliché**_

"Ichigo Kurosaki always believed that there was a reason behind everything that had happened to him; whether it was as simple as picking up a 250 yen coin on the sidewalk or as horrible as a hollow appearing while taking an exam, it does not happen by accident. Coincidences do not exist. However, when the ominous moment arrived, he could not believe what really happened; whether it was fate written by some divine entity or mere consequences of his actions, he had no idea. But whatever it was, like what he would say, "What happened happened."

It all started one uneventful lazy Sunday morning. Nothing was special. Ichigo's younger sister Yuzu was washing the dishes. Karin, Yuzu's twin, was busy playing video games. His father was busy being his jolly annoying old self. And Rukia, who had been formally staying in the Kurosaki household for a month, watched Karin play. Rukia secretly observed the way people in the television reacted to Karin's pressing of the buttons on her controller. Everything was going well until Ichigo's father asked him to give Rukia a tour around the neighbourhood; which of course, Ichigo declined.

It, of course, led to his father's hugging the poster of his deceased wife. "Oh, Masaki!" he shouted after seeing his son's indifferent posture. "Our son is not very much of a gentleman. He does not care about a homeless little girl. He is not even kind enough to take a friend out to see her new home. If this keeps up, how will he ever find a wife? We will never have grandchildren. What am I going to do Masaki! How could I have raised such an ungentleman-ly and unkind son? Oh Mama, forgive me."

Ichigo hated it when his father acted that way. Wanting so bad to stop his father from crying like a baby and hugging the wall, he decided to just take Rukia Kuchiki out. That way, he would not only get away from his family, he could also prevent them from knowing the weirdness of Rukia Kuchiki. That way he would be killing two birds with one stone. Then, again maybe not.

This is destiny we are talking about here. Ichigo's father mentioned the word 'bike' as a mode of transportation in the so-called tour. And you and I know what happens when Rukia hears an unfamiliar term. Making the long story short, after a long time of bickering and nagging, the Kuchiki won and it was decided that she will use the bike (while Ichigo walked) in the tour. Of course, it would have ended there if Rukia knew how to ride a bike.

This is Rukia we were talking about. She would, no matter the cost, want to know how to ride the bike. At first she continued falling over. With Kurosaki's help, (And I would say that it looked kind of out of character for Kurosaki) eventually made Kuchiki-san know how to ride a bike. She was already doing fine. She could already pedal and balance the bike for nearly ten metres. But the story doesn't end there. I would waste my saliva talking then, would I?

During one of the rides, there came to existence a little rock; an insignificant piece of pebble. This pebble unconsciously tripped Kuchiki-san on one of her bike riding attempts. And as I would put it, Rukia Kuchiki went flying out of the bike. And Ichigo, being freakishly protective over Rukia, ran directly in front of her and tried to catch her. Of course, this is fate we are talking about. Coincidences do not exist for Ichigo.

Everything happened so fast. Just as Rukia was about to land in Ichigo's arms, her face came first and it landed on Kurosaki's face causing their lips to touch. It was one big heck of a smack. Both of them fell to the ground, with their lips touching, of course. Like what I told you, Inoue-san. It was fate."

"So, they really kissed _ne_ Ishida-kun?" Inoue asked the young Quincy as he pushed up his glasses.

"No, it wasn't!" It was Ichigo. He apparently heard part of the conversation. "IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT!"

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a/n: The story's kinda dragging for me. I hope you enjoyed it! And I hope you review!_


	4. Love songs are Cliché

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a/n: I hate this one. _

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own bleach or the ipod design. Don't sue._

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Bleach: **__**Love Songs are Cliché**_

"_You think that people they had enough of silly love songs."_

Her voice echoed from the bathroom. Ichigo swore that he jerked when he heard her singing. It wasn't really the first time he heard Rukia sing. He usually hears her singing Chappy the Rabbit Theme songs. But this was different. Sure, the song was some crappy love song. For Ichigo, it sounded kind of sweet. It sounded really good on Rukia's voice. He slapped himself on the face. Did he just think the voice of the she-devil sounded angelic? He just listened to her song.

"_I look around me and I see it isn't so, no?  
__Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs  
__Well, what's wrong with that? I'd like to know."_

It wasn't as great as the seductive as the voices of pop princesses today. Nor was it as powerful as the divas. Her voice has that distinct roughness and yet soothes him. It wasn't like the way she normally spoke with. It was her singing voice. Ichigo recorded it mentally. He'd play sometime in the future…for his own reasons; blackmail her or maybe something like that. He went to his room. He had math problems to do. He should not bother what Rukia sings.

If the polynomial function f(x) has a horizontal asymptote at x equals 0, then it would not have real roots. His understanding about it, however, was also asymptotic to the true idea. He hated. The nature of the discriminant tormented his head. Was it really the nature of math to torture teenagers these days? If the limit of f(x) as x approaches 0 is equal to 5, then for all epsilon greater than zero, there exists a delta greater than zero, such that if the absolute value of x-0 is greater than delta then the absolute value of f(x)-5 is less than epsilon. This limit thing was sure limiting his patience. It was only when he was dealing with the annoying trigonometric functions that he noticed he was humming… a familiar stupid girly song.

_You think that people they had enough of silly love songs  
__I look around me and I see it isn't so, no?_

Good _kami_, he had a song stuck in his head. He needed to get that song out of his head… before anyone heard him. He tried to drown the thoughts with more mathematical equations. However, it failed. He still found himself humming the same tune. He banged his head a few times, but failing miserably to get the song out. It was official. He had LSS, a.k.a. Last Song Syndrome and… Rukia had just finished taking a shower.

_Great, just great._

Rukia was still singing the song. She was humming while drawing something on her notepad. Some divine being must be playing a joke on Ichigo. He should not here a word or note from the song. He needed to find a way not only to get the song out of his head but also not hear Rukia singing. Ichigo, running out of options, dug through his stuff looking for his ipod. He successfully found it in his drawer. He turned it on and the volume up maximum. Too his surprise, he heard the same thing.

_You think that people they had enough of silly love songs.  
__I look around me and I see it isn't so, no?  
__Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs  
__Well, what's wrong with that? I'd like to know._

God must really be a practical joker. Ichigo had one last option left. He decided to do it. Though it was still just past nine, he decided to sleep. Hopefully, by the time he wakes up the following day, he was already cured of the LSS. Hopefully... because the moment he picked up his toothbrush the followinf moring, he began humming the same song. Stupid Rukia, and her girly songs, it was all her fault. He can't go to school singing some crappy love song. That would so be out of character. But, what else could he do?

He just prayed to _kami _that he could keep the song in his head. Too bad the divine being to which prayed did not answer his prayers. During discussions, teachers often hear his hums. Thankfully, they could not pinpoint it was him. And one time, he even doodled the words of the song in his notebooks. It was one heck of an LSS. And of course, it doesn't end there.

It was lunchtime. Ichigo and his gang were eating on the rooftop. Everything was fine. Everything should have been fine. He could have kept the song in his head. But, no kami had to play a trick on him. _Kami _was a trickster; Ichigo finally concluded; either that _kami _must really like picking on Ichigo. Of course, he could blame _kami, _however he blamed some other being for it. He had to thank her for that. Yes, he had to thank Rukia for singing out loud that song.

"_Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs._" Rukia sang as she lifted her juicebox and took a sip.

"_Well, what's wrong with that? I'd like to know." _Ichigo replied in a song. He heard weird looks from the others. He actually sang. Ichigo could have controlled it…if he had the presence of mind that time. Or maybe…

He was just plain stupid.

_Stupid last song syndrome._

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a/n: I really hate this. The worst of them all… Flame it 'coz I hate it! Please review! _

_Love lots,  
__Moon-chan_


	5. Kisses are Cliché

_a/n: Hahaha! This is a crazy oneshot. I really had fun doing this._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach. If I did, Rukia and Ichigo would have kissed a long time ago._

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Bleach: **__**Kisses are Cliché**_

_Kami-sama, what he would give to shut her up._

"Ichigo, what does this thingamajig do?"

_Anything, even just for five seconds; just to shut Rukia up._

"Ichigo, are you listening?"

_The teenager rubbed his temples vigorously._

"I'm asking what this weird thing does."

_He can't take it anymore. _

"Ichigo, are you ignoring me?"

_Do not answer; not a word._

"Earth to stupid, are still there?"

_A single answer from him will lead to a thousand more questions._

"Are you deliberately ignoring me?"

_All that trouble would not be worth nothing._

"Ichigo, I will count ten!"

_Do not be taunted by her words._

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, and six…"

_They are just words._

"Five, four, three, two."

_He need not worry. He's used to being beaten up by her._

"One."

_He is still going to see her in his afterlife. What difference would it make?_

"Ichigo, why are you not answering?"

_He's used to the pain of her kicks. There was nothing to worry about._

"YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING CARROT!"

_She was still noisy and perhaps even nosier compared to seconds ago._

"I was asking you a question."

_Kami, give him a sign; anything, just to shut the midget up._

"What the freakin' hell is wrong with you strawberry head of an idiot? Are you just plainly deaf that you can't here what I'm saying? Or are you just so stupid that you might not be able to answer my question? Or are you worried about your ego that you might not be able to answer my question? Are you simply annoying me or possibly ignoring my existence? If you don't answer after I count to five, I swear I will give you a good _smack _on your gut; and something I'm sure you'll never forget. You'll regret that you lived. "

_Smack? As in a kiss? Was the idea god-given?_

"One."

_But, he'll be dead afterwards. It had to be good strong smack that she won't be about to resist. It would be sure to silence her and get even with her after all that she's done. Would it be worth it? Would it backfire on him? Who cares? He would do anything just to shut her up. If that was the only way, so be it. He'd just regret it some other time._

"Two."

_Was he sure? She'd haunt him in his afterlife after she killed him. At least she's keep quiet for at least five seconds. For him that would be enough. Hopefully, she'll become traumatized; she'd never ask him a stupid question for the rest of her life. Make or break, Kurosaki; what would it be? Be killed or be kissed?_

"Three."

_There was no turning back. His life would end as he knew it. One big gulp and ask for forgiveness to the people you'd hurt. Remember your happiest moments and your saddest. Tell yourself you had a good contented life. Recall your family and friends. He was ready to die. One small smack to Rukia and one large quiet time; it will be worth it. Remember. Live life with no regrets. Kiss those lips._

"Fou—"

_Ah, peace and quiet. It was worth it, after all._

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a/n: Please review! Was it even funny?_

_Love lots,  
__Moon-chan_


	6. Rain is Cliché

_a/n: Angst drabble! Hahaha. I feel sad writing this. stupid internet connection...I couldn't upload it last night..._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach!_

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Bleach: **__**Rain is Cliché **_

For mushy girly reasons much like the crap read in fanfactions, love is like the rain. It gently pours. Sometimes it is raging fast. But why is the rain so special? Because like love, it can't be stop. It can only be felt.

And maybe for that reason I hated rain. I don't like it when it's raining. The wind becomes very unruly and chilly. The clouds hide the bright warm sun. The sky grows dark even at noon. I get very wet and become very cold. At night, I cannot sleep when it is raining. The sound of splashes of raindrops makes me feel unrested. I feel very uncomfortable with thunder and lightning, not that I am afraid of them. I just cannot predict them, that's all.

I hate the way the raindrops fall on my bare pale skin. I hate the way mud gets between my toes and under my shoes. I hate the way the cold wind blows on my face that gives me chills. I hate the way people hide for shelter when it begins to rain, and yet they say they love the rain. I just hate the way it rains. What can I say? I hate the rain.

It is not like I can stop it from raining. And I am not saying that rain is unimportant and we can live in a world without rain. But, what really gets in my nerves is being stuck in the middle of nowhere while waiting for the bus to arrive. Stupid rain. Yeah, you had to show up didn't you? Now, I'm late for work and I'm all wet! Are satisfied you stupid rain? What did I ever do to you? Why did I deserve this?

A taxi cab passed by. And SPLASH! Now, I'm definitely wet! Yeah! Thanks for that! It made me feel great! Stupid Rain. It's already quarter past seven. I'm really going to be late for work. My boss will definitely kill me. Stupid Rain! Isn't it enough that you took away me; my mom and _her_!? Haven't you ruined by already ruined life? Just leave me alone for once. You have nothing left to take!

_Kami_, am I crying?

Maybe, it was a bad idea to go to work after all. Maybe I'll just go home. I step out of the waiting shed and begin walking. I am still crying. And maybe if it weren't for the rain, people will notice that I am crying. Maybe the rain is not good for nothing after all. She helped me cover my tears when my mother died. And now that I think about it, the rain is like tears. Maybe, when I couldn't cry for Rukia, the rain cried for me.

Now that I mentioned it, the rain never did cause all these ill-fated events. It just so happened that it rained when it occurred. The rain did not take away my mother. A hollow did. Rain did not take away Rukia but a hollow did. It was hollows that he should hate and not the rain. It was the hollows' and only the hollows' fault that they were gone. Never was it the rain's fault.

The rain came for a different purpose, to comfort me. And to be honest, she did a pretty good job. And to think, after all this time I hated the rain. I close my eyes and spread my arms as I walk in the mist. I'm so damn cheezy. I'll wait myself for this by the time I get home. My tears cannot be seen. Thank you. I am runnning out of tears but the rain is still crying for me. Thank you. I guess.

I love the rain. I have no reason to hate her. Though she may give be a cold, I don't care. I love her nevertheless. And until the day my maker takes me away from this world, I will treasure the beauty of rain, though bitter as I may seem. Rain is like lost love. You try to grasp it but lose it eventually. It makes you feel good but gives you chills. You dance with it as if it would never end but you know it will.

_Love was indeed like the rain_.

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a/n: That was so sucky… I hate this one. This is even worse than twister…_

_Please review! _

_Love lots,  
__Moon-chan_


	7. Boyfriends are Cliché

_a/n: This is a plot that escaped its way out of my little chest of plots while I was trying to sleep. This is the seventh cliché. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:**__I do not own Bleach! If I did, there would be more Ichigo X Rukia fluff in it._

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_**Bleach:**__**Boyfriends are Cliché **_

"Ichigo?" Rukia Kuchiki asked out of the blue. Her companion apparently did not hear her. Ichigo was busy doing his homework. She called him again. This time she knew he was ignoring her. She called him another time. This time, it was more demanding. Still, he did not respond. After doing this a dozen times, the orange-haired teenage decided to reply.

"What is it now?" Ichigo answered with irritation. He knew in the tone of Rukia's voice that it was of those impertinent questions about what a certain common object was and what it does. Or it could be the tone that says that there was a cute fluffy, bunny-like thing in the vicinity that Rukia wanted to get her hands on. Which ever it was, he did not care to know. He just wanted to shut the raven-haired girl up.

"This afternoon, the some girls in our class asked me if you were my_boyfriend_." Rukia answered in a bubbly manner. She did not notice that the facial expression of the boy in front of his changed from _so-so_ to _shocked_ and from _shocked_ to a_what-the-heck-did-you-say_ expression to a '_you're dead_' expression and finally to _I'm-a-goner_ expression.

"And what did you answer?" Ichigo tried to calm himself down. He always told Rukia that if ever she was in situation where she did not know something or how something works, she would ignore it, overlook it, or ask Ichigo what it meant or did. He sighed to cool his head. Hopefully, Rukia was smart enough to evade an answer.

"That is why I am asking you. What is a boyfriend?" Rukia asked naively. She knew what it meant, or she thought. She just needed to be sure. After all, the words were all there. She didn't need a dictionary. Boy; it means guy, the opposite of a girl. Friend: a companion. So boyfriend is a guy companion, right?

"What did you tell them, Rukia?" Ichigo growled. She wasn't answering his question. He tried to control his panic.

"I said yes. The meaning was already obvious. A boyfriend is a guy companion."

Ichigo's jaw dropped. He recalled earlier that day in school; the girls giggling while he and Rukia walked home and Keigo's snickering the entire afternoon, not only that the friendliness of the school towards him that afternoon. Yep, everything seemed to add up. And basically, the reaction of every person in school to him, why they acted they way they were.

"Tell me I'm right Ichigo, right?" Rukia smiled. She seemed oblivious to the half-zombie Ichigo standing in front of her.

"You told them what?" he shrieked.

"I told them 'Yes, Kurosaki-kun is my boyfriend'!" she smiled implying that she did not need Ichigo to tell her what it was. She was proud of herself.

"What did you tell them?" He controlled his scream. His mind could not keep up to the sudden of events. He continued yelling at Rukia until she slapped him in the face _good_.

"Ouch! Why the heck did you do that?" Ichigo snapped back _to_ his_nightmare_.

"Because you were looking like an idiot." Rukia pouted as she crossed her arms. "And you still haven't answered my question."

Ichigo continued doing his homework and decided to ignore the raven-haired girl.

"So, what is a boyfriend?" Rukia blinked her eyes a few times to hopefully get an answer from Ichigo.

Ichigo dare not look her in her eyes. How could he tell her that a boyfriend is someone a girl has a close personal relationship? "He's a guy having a close personal relationship with a girl _Kind of_." The last two words barely trailed after the others. Why did he answer her question?

"Don't we have a close relationship?" Rukia raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, closer than that." Ichigo was surprised with a slight stuttering of his words.

"What could be closer than living in the same house and sleeping in the same room?"

"You know," Damn, how the heck was Ichigo going to tell that a boyfriend is well… Now that he thought about it, what is a boyfriend? "You the guy that would often hold hands with… and-"

"I hold your hand a lot too, when I drag you when we fight hollows." Rukia still puzzled. Ichigo was not making sense to her especially when he makes stupid facial expression like what he is doing now. She was starting to be frustrated with Ichigo.

"I mean, something deeper." Ichigo wanted squeeze her neck with his bare hands. Why the heck can't he tell Rukia the meaning of boyfriend?

"Ichigo, you're not making sense." Rukia was still frowning. Why could Ichigo tell her straight what a boyfriend meant?

"Fine!" Ichigo stood up causing the chair he sat on to fall. "You really want to know?!"

Rukia nodded. She clasped her hands as waited for Ichigo's explanation.

"You really, really want to know?" Ichigo asked making sure Rukia really did want to know.

Rukia nodded. Her eyes began to sparkle with excitement.

"ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY SURE THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?"

"Yes, how many times to I have to say that?" Rukia was growing impatient.

"And you won't kill me if I say it?" Ichigo reassured his life was safe.

"_Yes! For crying out loud, what is it?"_

"Well," Ichigo took a deep breath. "A boyfriend is a girl very close companion and this companion not only enjoys the girl's company but the girl also enjoys his company. They are often together laughing at each other, walking together, and the like. And this guy does a lot of stupid stuff for the girl. Now, this guy…well…um let's see."

Rukia nodded seriously as she listened to Ichigo's explanation.

"The girl and the guy, well you…see" Why the heck can't Ichigo continue his sentence? It's not like it involved him. Wait a minute, it does involve him. He needs to think. If he tells Rukia what it meant, the changes of beating him up will be 90. If he doesn't tell her, the chances are 95. Either way, he's dead. He'll just tell to hopefully shut her up. He'll tell her.

"A boyfriend is…" Ichigo took a deep breath. He prepared himself to evade any of Rukia attacks. He talked slowly. "Someone a girl really really really likes and when I mean like…I mean love and…that guy really really really likes that girl also."

Ichigo could read Rukia's expression. It was rare that he saw her like that. She was bewildered, shocked, confused, and lost. To be honest, she was kind of-. Ichigo shook the word he was about to tell himself out of his head. He could not, would not, and did not and never say that she was a certain forbidden four letter word.

That wasn't the least of his problems. The whole school thought Rukia Kuchiki, the most annoying girl in the world (and in soul society), was her girlfriend and he, Ichigo Kurosaki, the loner and introvert, was her boyfriend.

_He was doomed_. And that's just in the real world.

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_a/n: Boyrfriends are really Cliché. That was it! I hope you enjoyed it! I apologize for the typographical errors, misspellings, or grammar lapses. Hahaha! Just three more chapters to go!_

_Love lots,  
Moon-chan_


	8. The Last Waltz is Cliché

_a/n__: I feel sad...That's why the __oneshot__ is sad._

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach!_

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Bleach: **_**The Last Waltz is Cliché**_

_****__Watch her feet._

No, he needed to look at her; straight into her eyes. "Ouch." she replied. Then again, he had to look at her feet as not to step on them. But, he needed to look at her if he wanted to talk to her seriously. However, she'll be irritated if he kept stepping on her foot. He needed to look at her sparkling sapphire eyes. "Ouch." she said again. He needed to look where his stepping. Damn. This was hard. If only his left eye could look at her and the other on his feet. Really? How did he get into such a mess? He just looked at his feet. Maybe he need not go through this after all. He did not really feel well.

He felt really awkward, though he did not know why. Damn. It must be those shoes. It felt like they were five times smaller than his feet. But, these were the same shoes he wore everyday; only it was polished. Maybe it was his stupid tuxedo that was so tight it almost choked him. He was suppose to like tight clothes. Ah, he knew why. He recited a few words in his head. Those words had been playing in his head the whole night. So, he was really going to say it to her? Why was he going to say it again?

It was because of rumors. They said she was leaving that night. Yet, he heard she wasn't. He believed the rumors? He was willing to soil his ego just because of some rumors? What if he'd never see her again? What if she was still there to haunt him tomorrow? At least she told him. He wouldn't have regrets that way. Was he really going to tell her? It wasn't to late to back out. But, this was the night; a night made for star-crossed lovers; a night for love struck teenagers, how mushy it may sound. It was a night destined by some divine being for him to tell her. It was the prom.

"_This is the last song_." The principal announced.

Ichigo Kurosaki recited his dialogue for the nth time in his head. He was determined it tell her. Yes, he would look straight into her eyes how much he meant to him. He would tell her that...if he could just get his eyes off his feet. "Seriously Ichigo," The Kuchiki said. "I thought you practiced your steps." She giggled. The Kurosaki frowned and replied. "Well, couldn't you find higher stilts?"

"You're the one who called me out here." She replied seemingly pissed off with the boy. She was about to leave the dance floor but Ichigo stopped her. He chuckled and said, "Rukia, can't you take a joke?" They went on with their dancing. Ichigo breathed deep. He had to say the words. This was the only chance he had left. However, before he could do that, he needed to stop looking at his feet. If only it was as easy as it sounded. Really? Why can't he be a graceful dancer like everyone else?

But, he had to say it.

His feet stopped moving. He felt it was the only way to tell her. He looked at the clock. It was a minute till midnight. He gulped. He held Rukia's hand tightly as if promising her not to let go of his hand even when the music stops. He, with all his ego and pride cast aside, decided that it was now. He told himself that as soon as the clock struck midnight. He would be finish with what he had to say. He gulped again. Rukia looked puzzled probably surprised that Ichigo stopped dancing. Ichigo breathed deep and this time, focused his eyes on her sapphire orbs, looking at them carefully realizing that it might be the last time he could see them. He sighed. Thirty seconds till midnight. It was now or never.

"Thanks for saving me the last dance." he said.

"Of course," she replied. "Come on, let's finish the dance." She felt that there was an oddity in Ichigo. There was an unmistakable sadness brewing within him. She didn't want to see that; especially not on the night of her departure. But, Ichigo didn't move. He stood there looking at her. It should be the night made for them. He would definitely tell her that.

"Rukia," he replied in his ever serious tone. "I'm trying to say something serious to you! The least you could do is shut up and listen!" He coughed. Rukia blinked. The boy continued his dramatic speech. "I don't freakin' care what you say afterwards. I don't care what you think afterwards. And listen and listen good, 'cause I'll only say this once." This was it. Ten seconds left. He inhaled all the air he could possibly intake. "I love you, idiot...I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT!"

_The clock stroke twelve times._

_The music stopped._

With that, Rukia smiled. She tiptoed to reach Ichigo's cheek. She gave him a peck and she left. Just like Cinderella, she left at midnight. She left without a word. However, she didn't leave anything behind; not a goodbye not even a memory of her. She left him but he wouldn't be able to find her. She left him. Basically, that was it. No happily ever after, no goodbye. Just the last dance...Ichigo will never remember. She was contented.

_Thank you for saving me your last dance._

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a_/n: That was story 8. sappy, crappy, and angsty...Not very pleased with it. Please review! It will really help me write. better ones. And yehey! __two more left!_

_Love lots,  
Moon-chan_


	9. The Future is Cliché

_a/n: Hello! This is the ninth one. Thank you for the reviews! I'm rushing to make the next and final one._

_andchann thanks for reviewing and etcetera-san thanks also for reviewing. I'm so happy that the saddness of the previous fic was really felt. Thanks again for the reviews!_

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own Bleach or its characters and Kermit the frog._

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Bleach: **__**The Future is Cliché**_

"_The Living Legend._

That is what they call my captain, Kurosaki Ichigo. He was a great man, probably far greater than anyone that will ever live. His credentials are beyond amazing. I mean, he became captain immediately after he graduated from the academy. He achieved bankai in just a few months after he knew the name of his zanpaktou. And of course, he successfully led a handful of shinigamis to Hueco Mundo to retrieve the orb of destruction. He truly deserved his title.

Between you and me, I am very afraid of him. I am even more afraid of him compared to Yamamoto-_taicho_, Sixth Squad Captain Byakuya Kuchiki, and Zaraki Kempachi combined. I can't really tell you what or why I'm afraid of him basically because I have no idea why. Maybe it's because of his frown. Or maybe it because he always had his eyebrows crooked. It might be the way he laughs sarcastically or just the way he scowls when his pissed off. Maybe even the fact that I have never seen him smile. My point is that he is so scary that I can never look him in the eye with fainting.

Who could blame him for being like that, I mean after all the pressure his been through? Being a young captain must be very hard. Not only that, he had to live a dual life during his first fifty years of his job. He started out as a human, you know. And he is really being compared to his father, Ishiin. Being at par with his father would not be enough. He had to surpass his father. It was truly hard, if you ask me. And probably the most painful for him was marrying some noble he barely knew.

Rukia Kuchiki, it was the name of his wife. She was my squad's vice-captain. If you ask me again, I would say that they were far from being in love. When they are in public, they never talk. And sometimes, I hear them arguing when they are in the headquarters all alone by themselves. I pity both of them. The entire soul society pities them. They might have loved someone else. What could they do? They were only doing their duties.

Some people say that _taicho_ was in love with someone girl he saved from execution many years ago. Nobody really knew who the girl was, I mean nobody that I know anyway. There were also rumours about Kurosaki Fuku-taicho having an affair with a human in her early life. Of course, that wasn't proven—nor was it disproved. To make my blabbering short, the two were not destined for each other. Let's just say they were married for the benefit of the entire soul society.

Of course, that's what I thought until yesterday.

I was about to submit my paperwork; I was the twelfth seated officer after all. It was late that night. I actually just plan to sneak in and leave my papers on the pile on the captain's table. I thought no one was there until I heard a lot of talking. It was Kurosaki-_taicho_ and Kurosaki _fukotaicho_. At first, I considered they were talking about important business like about the mission they were assigned. Then, I was startled by the content of their conversation.

"Rabbits?" my captain retorted. "Why the hell would I let you decorate the house with rabbits? We have tons of rabbits at home and you still want to decorate the interior of the house with rabbits?"

"Come on, Ichigo" Vice-captain Rukia replied. "Murasaki doesn't make a big deal about them. They're wonderful for her baby shower! Our daughter would definitely love the idea of bunnies for that event!" She squealed like a girl, which quite surprised me. It was very rare for to see hear her like that. She was always talked in a deep serious voice.

"What if the baby's a boy?" the captain wasn't really that of a bunny lover. "Chappy would be to girly! What about her husband? What would he say? Too girly! Enough with the bunnies, Rukia! Isn't it enough for you to turn our wedding into some easter bunny celebration? How about frogs or teddy bears, they're girly too. Why not give them a shot? Or maybe baby bottles or storks; that way it will be neutral."

"And ruin the Chappy tradition? No way! And besides, I thought you said that you liked a Chappy themed wedding. When I asked you that time your words were something like 'sure', 'whatever' or 'whatever suits you'."

"Let's do a flashback here, midget." He sighed. "What I said was: 'I love you, Rukia but I don't want that Chappy themed weddings, but if this is going to shut you up, I would agree just so long as you shut up and keep those pesky rodents away from me for the rest of my life.' That's what I said. Too bad it never happened. Chappy themed wedding was to shut you up."

To be honest, I have never heard them talk so casual. They reminded me and my husband when we nag. It surprised me though. Did my captain say he loved her? I could just be hearing things. They talked so lightly and at some point I would say sweet. There was something about the way they bickered that told me it was one of those things, loving wives and husbands usually do. I guess they were in love after all. Maybe they learned to love each other, _ne_?

As I listened to them, I peered into one of the holes in the sliding doors. For the first time in my life, I actually saw my captain smiled. It wasn't a wide grin. It was a small escaping smile that tried to hide. It reminded me of my husband. (Which reminded me we were suppose to pick-out clothes for our conceived baby. Oh, maybe we'll just do it some other time.)

"Why don't we just ask Murasaki, after all—" said one of them. I'm not sure which one.

All of a sudden, to my surprise, the sliding doors cracked and I landed face first on the floor. "I'm cool with bunnies, mom." I said trying to hide my embarrassment. I saw her do a something like 'in-your-face' tease to my captain. Yes, he is my father though I don't like admitting it. But last night, I was told a lot about him that I never knew. I'm glad that my parents really did love each other and that maybe they did not marry out of obligation. I mean, aren't you?"

"Murasaki honey," her husband replied irritated. "I don't see what this has to do with picking-out 'Kermit the Frog' as the baby shower theme? And what's with the weird talk. Aren't I your husband?"

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a/n: Please review!!!_

_Love lots,  
__Moon-chan_

_P.S. Murasaki means violet. _


	10. Happy Endings are Cliché

_a/n: phew! Finally the last one! Rukia's kind of irritating here… Why did I make it like this?! Thanks for the many reviews! I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!_

_Somehow, I like this fic. It is so ironic. I wish happy endings didn't have to be cliché. _

**:'(**

_**Disclaimer: **__Bleach, Disney and the do not belong to me._

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Bleach: **__**Happy Endings are Cliché**_

"Ichigo, don't you think the story of Sleeping Beauty is kind of weird?"

"What do you mean weird?" the young boy replied seemingly oblivious to her question. He was doing his homework. He had no time to care about Rukia's stupid questions. "What so weird aside from being able to sleep for a hundred years and not grow old?" Ichigo proceeded with his Pascal's triangle. He had more things to worry about; more important than some girl stupid enough to get stung by a needle and then fall asleep.

"I mean." Rukia continued. "The prince kissed her so passionately. And considering she's been sleeping for a hundred years. Doesn't she like have something worse than morning breathe? I can't imagine a prince kissing someone like that. He must put on a lot of mouthwash."

"Yeah, you're right." Ichigo chuckled seeing her point.

"What about Cinderella?" she continued. Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "I mean, of all the things she had to leave a brittle shoe. Come on, she could at least leave her contact number or something more useful; like her address or something. And snow white, how can she have rosy white skin. She's treated like a maid. In reality, that's impossible. Her skin should be in very poor condition. And Ariel the mermaid, she should have just given the boy a big smack or maybe even wrote what the prince had to do."

"So?" Ichigo began losing the point of Rukia's babbling. "It's not like they're true. I mean they're fairy tales. They are suppose to be like that. That's why they're called fairy tales. What do you expect?" Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I think you're watching to many fairy tales movies with Yuzu. Give it a rest. Why are you so worried about them anyway? It's not like they're real or they're happening to you."

"No," Rukia replied in a sad tone that was rare for the Kurosaki to hear. "It's just…Did they really live happily ever after?"

"Of course, they did. That's what the story says." Ichigo replied trying to cheer Rukia up. He sighed. He knew Rukia deserved and wanted his point of view on that subject. He decided to just tell her. He dropped his pencil and looked at Rukia with a sigh. Fine, just to shut the midget up. "To be honest, I don't think they will. Take snow white. I mean she married a guy she only met once. How sure was she that the prince was indeed the one for her? If you ask me, she's better marrying one of the seven dwarfs. And Cinderella, she's a maid for crying out loud. There's no way the royal family would accept her. And besides, what does she know about running a country?

Do you see where I'm getting to here? Let's have another example. Sleeping beauty, her entire kingdom was asleep for a hundred years. Her kingdom would be way behind in terms of technology and the like. Their kingdom would be in the dumps. Furthermore, how can she immediately fall in love with a guy she met for the first time? Even in Disney, she met the like what once or twice? Sure, she met him once upon a dream. But, falling in love ain't as easy as that. And Ariel, Hans Christian Andersen wrote the better version. The Little Mermaid was cool in his novel. But then again, what's so fun about seeing someone else with the one you love. And in Disney, Ariel was only sixteen. She's a damn flirt if you ask me."

"So you're saying—" Rukia was bothered by Ichigo's monologue.

"Happily ever after does not exist." He replied in a stern tone. "It's kind of sadistic but even in people's illusions, happily ever after cannot exist. It's as good as one divided by zero." Ichigo went on with his math problems.

"But, what about _us_?" Rukia asked. It was rarer than once did she talk about _them, _as two people who were romantically involve with each other. It was one of those moments that Ichigo knew that he had to take time and answer them, for the sake of shutting Rukia up. "Are you saying we're never going to live happily ever after?"

"So that's what you're worried about midget?" Ichigo smiled. "Sure there'll be bumps and bastards all along the way. We'll be fine. I mean I'm still alive after I told Byakuya about us. This will be a snitch. Don't worry about those things. What you have to worry about is your homework. And I'm not doing for you! And besides, if there was happily ever after it would be boring. Don't you think so? And in some way, we'll have our happily ever after."

"Yeah, you're right." Rukia replied.

"I hope clears everything up." Ichigo sighed.

"No, not yet." She took Ichigo's pencil to make sure that Ichigo listens to her. "The thing is was ordered by soul society to-"

"What?" Ichigo said more surprised than curious.

"Ichigo," she breathed in. "What I'm trying to say is that what we feared finally came. The orders were clear. They couldn't do anything. Oni-sama tried too. But, the 46 room was firm on their decision. I tried to tell you a week ago. But. I guess I'm just sorry. You do realize that I can never see again for at least the next fifty years but—"

"So, when are you leaving? At least I can take you some carnival or amusement." He replied trying to hide his sadness. "I don't want Byakuya saying something but about something like not treating her sister well. I mean, you get me right? I really want to take you somewhere nice. You know, a decent goo—"

"It's tonight."

_It was all right. Happily ever after cannot exist after all._

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